SINGAPORE: In the dark of the night, sleep comes easy for most.
But when he tastes defeat at a major tournament, six-time English Billiards world champion Peter Gilchrist remains wide awake.
He’s seen it all, done it all, won it all. But losing still stings, even after decades of competing.
So, while others dream, his mind wanders back to what happened, and what could have been.
“You put on a brave face, you could say: ‘It doesn’t really matter, it was a small tournament’, that sort of thing. You make excuses,” Gilchrist told CNA.
“But it’s in the night time when you can’t sleep … It shouldn’t happen, but it does. You go through everything you got right, what you got wrong.”
Although it is part and parcel of being an athlete, defeat always tastes bitter, said Gilchrist.
“I just hate losing, I absolutely detest it. I wish I didn’t, I wish I could be like so happy,” he added.
“I’ve said this before when I won a few tournaments. You’re always a loser because you lose far more than you win – even the best in the world. So you’re always up against that. And the losing hurts far more than the glory of winning.”
At the Southeast Asia (SEA) Games, however, Gilchrist has not lost in the men’s singles since 2009.
With six consecutive golds in the event at the Games, he is aiming to make it seven in Hanoi later this month.
HATING THE HEAT
The last time the SEA Games were held in Vietnam, Gilchrist was part of the Singapore contingent as the national billiards and snooker coach.
After a stint coaching in Qatar, Gilchrist had just joined Singapore six months prior to the 2003 Games. That year, Singapore’s Alex Puan and Keith E would win the snooker doubles gold.
“It was nothing to do with me, they were just fantastic,” said Gilchrist.
But one thing he did do was to bring the duo to the UK, where they could learn from the best in the business.
“I had a lot of good friends in the game, and I took Alex and Keith to go and see really good coaches, just have a look-see what they think,” he recalled.
For Gilchrist, Singapore was at first meant to be a brief stopover rather than the final destination.
A couple of years before, he had stopped by on the way back from a tournament in Sydney.
“When I went back I said I’ll never go back here again because it’s just so humid, I just hated the heat,” he recalled.
“Then when I was in Qatar, I got offered a job as a coach (in Singapore), so (I thought) I’ll give it a year. And then I met really good friends here and it’s just been the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
And so the Middlesbrough-born Gilchrist took up Singapore citizenship in 2006.
As he coached Singapore, Gilchrist also competed for the country. However, sustained success would mostly elude him.
“I was going to tournaments and playing players that I knew I was better than. And everyone was saying: ‘ Oh yeah, you’re finished.’ They were saying I was finished, because I was losing all the time,” recalled Gilchrist, who had two world titles to his name before becoming a Singapore citizen.
“Even my dad was like: ‘They’re all better than you now!’”
One of the major issues Gilchrist faced was that he was unable to train full-time due to his coaching commitments.
“I knew that my game just needed time and practice. That’s all it was,” he added.
Gilchrist competed in the 2007 Games but would finish outside the medals. He would win his first SEA Games gold in the 2009 edition and follow it up with another two years later.
But the game changer came in 2013 when he was one of the athletes awarded Singapore’s Sports Excellence Scholarship (spexScholarship), which would allow him to focus on competing full-time.
“I would have just packed in (and focused on coaching if not for that),” he said.